5 Ways to Make Your Eyes Bleed

In horror movies, people bleed from their eyes like bloody eyeballs are going out of style. Turns out, bleeding from your eyes isn’t so easy to accomplish. Here are a few tips that, along with a little determination, might help:

1. Trauma. An errant fast pitch or direct roundhouse kick to the orbs should get your peepers squirting in no time.
2. Anticoagulants. Drugs like coumadin thin the blood and reduce clotting-they’re fun, but don’t wear a white shirt!
3. Tune-in to an all-new Gilmore Girls.
4. Vitamin K deficiency. Steer clear of the “K” and your eyes will be gushing in a jiffy.
5. Zombie bites. Failing all else, a playful nibble from the undead will get your eyes all red, if you know what we mean!

The above post is a joke. For the love of God, please do not run off and start messing with your eyeballs.