Hey, Doc! My Head’s Up Here…

A New York construction worker recently sued a hospital he says performed a malicious anal probe on him after he was hit in the head on the job. We say he was probably asking for it.

“NEW YORK – A hospital did nothing wrong when it tried to examine the rectum of a construction worker who had been hit on the head by a falling wooden beam, a jury found Monday.

After deliberating for about an hour, a state Supreme Court jury awarded nothing to Brian Persaud, who sued NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital for unspecified damages. The panel found the hospital and its emergency room medical staff were not liable.

Persaud’s lawyers, Gerard Marrone and Gary DeFilippo, said he might appeal.

“We’re very disappointed,” Marrone said after the two-week trial. “It’s a miscarriage of justice.”

The hospital’s lawyer, Jeffrey Lawton, declined comment.

Marrone said Persaud, 38, was injured while working at a construction site in midtown Manhattan on May 20, 2003. Persaud received eight stitches for a cut over his eyebrow at the hospital, but denied emergency room staffers’ request to examine his rectum, the lawyer said. He said doctors told Persaud the exam could help determine whether the accident caused spinal damage.

When Persaud resisted, staffers held him down while he begged, “Please don’t do that,” Marrone said.”

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Did anyone consider that maybe the probers in question weren’t doctors…but aliens!?